A long time ago, I had written a posts on how to deal with loneliness.
In it and it’s follow up post, I explained quite well on my own issues with loneliness in the past and how to cope with it.
I even gave a brief explanation of my issues with relationships in the same post as well as another.
This post is just an add-on dealing with being single when you don’t want to.
The reason I chose to make a special post for this is because there is a difference between being lonely in general and that of not having a romantic partner.
It’s quite simple. It’s a lot easier to find a friend than a romantic partner. You can make a friend in as little as a few minutes, while the other thing can take a while.
Do note that this post isn’t about how to get a special someone. Throw that out of your mind if that’s what you are expecting. This post is ENTIRELY about how to ENDURE until you find that special someone.
With that being said … let’s begin …
A LITTLE BACKGROUND INFORMATION ABOUT MYSELF …
I would be lying if I told you that I’ve been a romantic failure in life. On the contrary, I have been in several relationships in the past. At the same time, I have had long bouts of singledom as well.
So whatever I tell you here is based on my own experiences.
Before I start, let me give you a rough idea about my own story, so that you can get a rough idea of my experiences.
I’m somewhere in the middle of the romantic spectrum. I’m neither your everyday stud nor a loner. I’ve had phases of life, which ranged from being crazy in love to downright single.
And also, at the time of writing this post, I am single.
But unlike before, I don’t go crazy over not having someone special in my life, getting all worked up and depressed. However, it was a very different case a long time ago, when I would get really upset over not having someone in my life.
As time passed by, I’ve got used to this roller coaster ride and learned several ways of coping with this insanity.
I’ve mentioned each one of them below …
This isn’t really a ‘method’ to be honest.
It’s more of a psychological adaptation the way I see it.
When you are made to endure a long bout of loneliness, you just ‘get used to it’. At first, you get hurt and teary eyed whenever you see someone with their significant other, or when someone talks about their partner. But with the passage of time, it begins to hurt you less to the point that you become callous to those feelings.
After that point, you’ll not feel anything, EVEN if you are single and a guy talks about his 20 year long committed and satisfying relationship; you may sense a feeling of a void somewhere in your soul occasionally but that’s about it.
In my own case, I’ve gone through all those stages. There was a time when I would hurt so badly whenever the issue of a relationships came up. I have literally shed tears over not having someone special. As time passed by, I became more callous to these emotions and would at most feel a subtle sense of emptiness. Now, it’s gotten to a point where I feel almost NOTHING.
I sometimes wonder if I should worry about about what I’ve become. Perhaps. But who cares? It’s a lot better than crying like some weak sissy.
I have a suspicion that people who feel this sadness are overwhelmingly young and inexperienced. Because from my observation, experience tends to make most people get used to this feeling.
So what does this mean for you? Well, you are not going to like it but…
“Hang in there…you’ll get over it eventually…”
2.) Having A Goal In Life
One of the reasons you feel lonely is because your brain has nothing better to do.
If you keep yourself preoccupied with a goal, these feelings will not even come to your mind. If you are busy with your work, you will have no time to get depressed about being single.
Furthermore, a goal here needn’t be some kind of a pie in the sky of say, starting a multinational conglomerate. It can be something as simple as tending to a garden or raising your pet.
In other words, it’s only when your mind is idle that these feelings enter it. When you are too busy, you won’t have time to even entertain these thoughts.
3.) Have A Great Social Circle
I suggest this because much of the loneliness in life can be ‘masked’ when you are busy interacting with other people.
You might just find someone special when you are busy with your social circle…
PS: I think love marriages are garbage.
4.) Discard The Trash People In Your Life
There are people who tend to rub your relationship status in your face.
Cut off ALL contact with them. Block their numbers and email addresses. Delete them from your social media list … heck, if it’s serious, get a stay/restraining order against them!
Simply put, tell them to piss off.
They are garbage and have no place in you life. ‘
5.) Run Dating Funnels
There is something called a funnel in the marketing world.
In very simple terms, ‘funnels’ are a way of imagining the sales process in which …
You get the attention of a bunch of people …
… Out of which, only a few will ever bother to look up your product/service …
… Out of which, only a few will ever bother to enquire about your product/service …
… Out of which, only a few will ever bother to think about purchasing your product/service …
… Out of which, only a few will ever bother to buy your product/service …
In the same way, out of all the people that you meet in your life, only a few have the prospects of ever becoming your special someone … So, just keep trying …
They don’t say, “NEVER GIVE UP!” for no reason … 😉
So that would be it.
These are the strategies that I’ve found to be extremely efficient in dealing with romantic loneliness.
I know that it’s not exactly what you wanted to hear but sometimes, truth sucks and tastes bad.
GOOD LUCK! 🙂