Life is very difficult for a lot of people.
Indeed, the vast majority of us all have some grievance in our lives that is constantly nagging us.
A long time ago, I lived my life under the notion that I was a ‘victim’ of my circumstances and that I couldn’t do anything about it. I felt helpless and powerless to do something about my situation.
Indeed, I felt like my fate was sealed to a life of misery and suffering. I was never able to find hope and nothing made sense. All that I saw was an ‘oppressive’ environment that was holding me down.
It would take a while before I realized how everything worked in life, and that I had it all wrong.
The very first time that I read something contrary to my earlier beliefs (that I was a ‘victim’ of my circumstances), was probably about a decade ago. But at the same time, it would take me several more years in order to realize how everything ‘fit together’ and made sense.
I have already talked about it in one of the earliest posts that I had ever written [Here; ‘Everything is your fault’], where I explained how I had read a book which told me that everything in my life was the result of my own actions and attitudes. It wasn’t something that I had expected, but that was what I was reading.
You could say that that was one of the major stepping stones to success in my life, as I had started to embark on a journey at that point, which strangely continues to this day; and will probably continue to do so until the day I die …
So anyway …
Many of us spend our daily lives, living under the notion that we are a victim of our circumstances.
We behave like we are completely powerless to change our lives, when in fact, we have the complete and total freedom at our disposal. The essence of ‘free will’ is something that most people are apparently not aware about at all …
As a result of this ignorance about reality, we end up wasting away our entire lives, rather than making the most of everything that life has to offer.
It is important to add here that this little par t of our lives is actually not your fault … not entirely at least …
There is a reason we do what we do … and that applies for the mentality of us being victims of our circumstances as well. Read this part clearly and you will understand everything.
To begin with, there are two things that you will need to know, which will act as a ‘foundation’ for everything else you are going to read here.
1.) The dynamic nature of our environment
Our environment happens to be a very dynamic system, where all of the elements in it are fairly interchangeable, beyond some exceptions.
In other words, almost everything in the world around us can be changed if we apply our will to it. For example, the world’s cities seem like they are fairly static entities, but in reality, they are constantly changing. Buildings are constantly being built and torn down, roads and highways are constantly being constructed and renovated. People keep moving in and out every day. It is essentially like a living organism that builds and rebuilds itself every single day.
If one were to really apply their will towards it, they can have the ENTIRE city demolished and relocated elsewhere. What used to be the former city area could be converted into a prairie or a forest, if so one wills.
This example need not have to go to the scale of a large city. I can actually give you a very simple example, which you’d be familiar with every single day; your home. The house you live in has a certain pattern of furniture arrangement that you are familiar with. Are you aware that they are not permanent? Do you know that this arrangement can be eliminated if you really wanted to? Do you know that you are at complete liberty to buy or dispose your furniture, rearrange their location, change their position and so on?
What I am getting at here is that you are at complete liberty to change every single element in your environment, be it something as small as the interior of a house, or that of an entire city.
In other words …
NOTHING IS STATIC IN THE WORLD AROUND YOU.
ON THE CONTRARY, EVERYTHING IS DYNAMIC!
As much as this is the case, the ‘dynamic’ nature of the world around us doesn’t seem that way … but why? …
Well, read on …
Your brain is a wonderful piece of evolutionary hardware. Despite all the advancements that have been made by technology over the years, we have much to learn about how it works.
One of the more interesting things I have observed about the human mind is that it has this strange and almost amazing ability to just ‘normalize’ everything, given enough time. In other words, no matter what your situation is, your brain has a tendency to make it seem like it is ‘normal’ if you allow it to remain the same for an extended period of time.
For example, in my own case …
- I have had a lot of money and at the same time been broke as a joke. And the funny thing is that both of them seemed ‘normal’.
- Likewise, I have been in relationships before and single as well. And again, I found that both of them seemed ‘normal’.
- I have lived in a filthy house and a clean one … and once again, they both seemed ‘normal’.
All in all, no matter the situation I was in, it all seemed rather ‘normal’. I never really felt it to be ‘strange’ beyond the first few days of encountering change. This is the ‘novelty’ factor powered by the neurochemical, Dopamine.
For example, when I was single, having a girlfriend seemed like the most amazing thing in the world and almost like meeting a space alien. But when I did get a girlfriend, I did feel rather strange at first, but then, it became ‘normal’. I didn’t have any ‘other-worldly’ feeling when I was with my girlfriend; it just felt like that’s how it was, is and will be. It seemed normal to get messages from her, talk with her on the phone, go out with her and so on …
I can actually contrast it to how I would react when I was single and someone told me that they had a girlfriend. I would be shocked and surprised (and yes, jealous) that they had someone special in their life. I saw the other person like he was the greatest thing in the whole world.
There are plenty of other examples pretty much like the one I just explained to you.
The point is that no matter what change happened in my life, my brain simply ‘normalized’ it after a period of time, usually after about 2-3 weeks. In fact, it has been proven that the human brain will normalize whatever you do for about 3 weeks or 21 days; this is in fact the foundation for the creation of habits in life.
If you are still with me and have understood the two things I just mentioned, let’s take a look at the third thing, which is the subject of the topic; the ‘circumstances’ of our lives.
The things that you call circumstances aren’t really circumstances, but rather ‘normalized’ situations in a dynamic environment. In fact, I can actually give you a guarantee right now that if you believe that you are stuck in your circumstances, you have been living under that circumstance for at least the past few weeks.
Your brain has experienced the messy situation for at least the past few weeks, making you believe that living in such a way is actually ‘normal’, when in fact, it would actually be ‘abnormal’ for a different person.
Ultimately, this psychological tendency of your brain to normalize everything has caused you to believe that your situation is permanent, when in fact, it is part of a vast and dynamic system where almost all variables can be changed.
The truth of the matter is that your situation has been under your control the entire time. Your ‘circumstances’ are so only because you let it be so. The only reason that you are still suffering is because you allowed yourself to live that way, rather than taking action to improve your live.
This is an ironical thing in life if you think about it. The ‘normalization’ of everything by brain prevents you from taking action and changing your situation. This in turn reinforces the brain and fuels the ‘normalization’ of everything … and on and on and on … until you break the degenerative reinforcement cycle through your own free will; which is where the next part comes in …
If you want specific examples of the above, here is what I mean …
- You have the choice to create good habits in life.
- You have the choice to exercise and eat healthy.
- You have the choice to avoid smoking, drinking, drugs and other stuff that are harmful.
- You have the choice to clean up your house every once in a while.
- You have the choice to get rid of all your deadbeat friends and colleagues and meet better people.
- You have the freedom to dump your nagging partner and find someone better.
- You have the choice to find a better job and quit your current one.
- You have the choice to file for bankruptcy if your debt is weighing you down and start over.
- You have the choice to change your religion if your current one doesn’t meet your spiritual needs.
- You have the choice to start a business and make more money.
- You have the choice to learn how attract customers to your business by reading one of the many wonderful books and websites that are available online.
- You have the choice to reject your current lifestyle if you don’t want to live in such a manner.
Simply put, you have the complete freedom to change just about any element you don’t like in your dynamic environment … The only thing that you are restricted by is your own imagination and work ethic …
As with almost anything in the world, there are certainly restrictions even here …
Clearly, you don’t have absolute freedom in the world. Whoever tells you this is outright lying to you and simply crazy.
Here are some of the many restrictions that currently exist in the world …
Clearly, you cannot operate beyond the limitations of science.
You cannot do something that is beyond the realms of biology, chemistry or physics.
Communism is a failed ideology. It has failed everywhere it has been tried.
Those who live in communist countries are never going to be able to reach their full potential.
That’s because you cannot possible achieve anything in life, if you have chains on your feet or roadblocks every step along the way.
There are some restrictions when it comes to your age. And when I say age here, I imply the legal side of it.
If you are below 18 years of age, you are restricted in terms of what you can do, because you are legally a minor.
After you cross this age, you become an ‘adult’ and can finally taste real freedom, at least the sort that everyone else gets when they reach that age.
You cannot do something that is against the law.
It is something fairly obvious in nature.
Sadly, this foul institution still exists in this ‘enlightened’ age of ours.
However, it is very unlikely that you are a slave if you are reading this. But the fact is that if you are a slave, you cannot really do something unless your master permits you to do so …
Another real restriction in life is the issue of disability.
Being disabled is essentially a physiological barrier in life and prevents you from doing the things you wanted to do …
And that’s about it. If anything, the restrictions created by the above mentioned points are the only real circumstances in life that are beyond your control.
Beyond the above mentioned restrictions in life, you are pretty much free to do whatever you want in life and shape your circumstances in life the way you want it.
If you are wondering what can be done about these things in life … the answer is rather simple, even if it may be painful. It’s a statement by the Austrian psychiatrist, Viktor Frankl …
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing; the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
This is not very encouraging but at the same time … it’s not like there is any other alternative …
I know …
Life sucks sometimes …
… and we just have to deal with it …
When you begin to understand the nature of life and how we are for the most part the creator of our circumstances, there are a couple of different emotions and feelings that you can look forward to experiencing …
For one thing, there is the issue of denial, where you remain clearly in denial about reality. You will very likely cling on to the fact that you are actually a victim of your circumstances rather than being the creator of it. This is an ego problem, where your mind doesn’t want to be proven wrong.
If you can manage to beat your mind and force yourself to understand that you have been living under a delusion for a very long time, the next emotion that you’ll end up experiencing is a sense of helplessness and hopelessness, with regard to time. This is as false as the previous issue that just mentioned. The mind will try to make you believe that it is too late. This is also untrue because as long as you are alive, you are in a position to do something about your situation.
The last one is that of work ethic, where you will feel a sense of reluctance to do the work that is required. Most problems in life require a great deal of work to be done in order for them to be eliminated. This is something that you will not want to engage in, because a lifetime of degeneration and screw ups cannot be fixed overnight. If you are willing to overcome the work ethic shock and ready to put in the work required, everything else in life will fall into place over an extended period of time.
These three emotions and feelings, as well as everything else in the middle will be one of the very first things that you’ll need to handle before you can go to the next step. If you can fast-forward all of this away, you can get started with the next step …
In all, that’s about it …
There is nothing more to be said here.
Beyond the list of restrictions that I mentioned, you are literally free to do as you want in life. Understand this and you will realize the fact that you were never really a ‘victim’ of your circumstances, but rather the creator of it.
It may be hard to accept and believe this, but it is the truth …
Now go out there and start living your life!